Music to Read By by Duane Spencer

Song from Kitchen Items by Kobi Russell

Spaghetti with Sweet 100 Tomatoes by Mario Batali & One Ring Zero

All That Meat and No Potatoes by Fats Waller

Animal Crackers in My Soup by Shirley Temple

Animal Crackers in My Soup by Shirley Temple

Holey Moley by Duette

Chile Bean by Aileen Stanley

Ripe Tomatoes by Eight O' Five Jive

Shrimp Remoulade by John Besh and One Ring Zero

Smile Like a Candy Jar by Meet The Seavers

Cocobutternutballfudgecake Cream Bar by Scotti Giambusso

Raw Peach by One Ring Zero

Tortellini Tarantella by Scotti Giambusso

Ice Cream by Michael Hearst


T Max

Mr. Timothy Charles Duane

Amanda Hesser

Judith Jones

John T. Edge

Deborah Madison

Clotilde Dusolier

Cotner and Fitch

Busby and Lucas

Carly Sachs

Conversations Over Stolen Food
by Jon Cotner & Andy Fitch

Jon and Andy recorded forty-five-minute conversations for thirty straight days in New York City. Half of them took place at a Union Square health food store which they call "W.F." Other locations included MoMA, the Metropolitan Museum of Art, the Metropolitan Opera House, Central Park, Prospect Park and a Tribeca parking garage.

The following excerpt comes from W.F. talks. It represents a few minutes from twenty-three hours of material.


A: It's hard for me to complete phrases today.

J: You drank green tea without a lot to eat.

A: That typically creates soreness from my chest to my hips. Nothing's happened yet.

J: Maybe you want some of those pineapple chunks I bought ...

A: [Muffled] very nice ...

J: up for you.

A: and generous. You game me three dollars' worth of pineapple cubes.

J: I got them free. I took them along with my box and my banana to a register, and said I'd paid for the pineapple in the café upstairs...

A: The pineapple only?

J: Yeah, but they don't sell fruit here.

A: And that went O.K.?

J: It went just fine.

A: No hesitation on the clerk's part?

J: If ...if... if the cashier had looked like he or she had managerial responsibilities I was prepared to say, after swallowing several chunks in line: Oh, no thank you -- I'd like to return these.

A: Sometime we should discuss our favorite cashiers. I, there are a few I'm always happy to approach. They're real professionals. People who don't just rubber-band an egg carton, but who wrap it with paper. People who double-bag groceries knowing New Yorkers will be walking ...

J: Right. A: not throwing things into some SUV. I don't know if you have favorites.

J: I do, and many exude pride working here. One told me last week that this is a billion-dollar company.

A: I ... I remember the other day (at Chelsea W.F.) asking somebody behind a prepared-foods counter to cut a lasagna portion into two-thirds its size. I didn't want the whole thing. And I apologized for placing such a petty request. But the man informed me that this was the customer service business, and it made no sense for him to think my request was small. I then of course felt bad for suggesting ...

J: But you got the lasagna slice you'd wanted?

A: Yes.

J: Which you took back to Kristin's?

A: I ... I, yes. Yes.

Jon Cotner

The work of Jon Cotner (above) and Andy Fitch (below) has appeared in Exquisite Corpse, n+1, Paper Monument and UbuWeb. A collaborative project is forthcoming from Ugly Duckling Presse. They can be reached at stolen.food@gmail.com.

Andy Fitch